Are you aware of Radical Self-Care??

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“Radical self-care is quantum, and radiates out into the atmosphere, like a little fresh air.It is a huge gift to the world. When people respond by saying ‘Well isn’t she full of herself’ smile, obliquely like Mona Lisa, and make you both a nice cup of tea.” Anne Lamott



I love this quote by Anne Lamott and shared it during a recent workshop I did on radical self-care for women. I’m sure this quote is relevant to women all over the world but growing up in the West of Ireland, I believe a high proportion of our beautiful wild women here are what I call ‘martyrs’.

Google tells me the definition of ‘martyr’ is a person who is killed because of their religious or other beliefs. What is being ‘killed’ is that wonderful, divine feminine part of ourselves. And is it killed in the name of the belief that we must ‘get on with it’.

This ‘get on with it’ culture often denies us the space and support to take care of ourselves. We deny the feminine principle for fear of appearing to be weak. We have forgotten that our vulnerability as women is one of our most powerful aspects of ourselves.

This results in women who are not living truly as they are but living in a masculine principle that affects aspects of their lives whether it is parenting, work or relationships.

The good news is that by identifying the beliefs that you hold you can make a shift. For many of us those beliefs come through ‘the voice’ or our ‘inner critic’ telling us that ‘You should have….’
‘You don’t deserve…’ ‘It’s selfish to do that for yourself…’ ‘You are not good enough..’

Or if you don’t turn it inward you may turn it outward as Anne Lamott says ‘Well isn’t she full of herself’. We live in a nation of begrudgers and it takes a lot of awareness to notice this in ourselves.

So begin to notice your inner voice. If you find that you are reflecting an inner belief about yourself then challenge it and join in with the revolution and learn to take care of yourself.

Recently a dear school friend, Rachel, shared this quote from Audre Lorde with me:
“Caring for myself is not an self-indulgence, it is self- preservation and that is an act of political warfare.”

We live in a time in Ireland where many of us feel powerless against the governments that are coming and going leaving us with a bitter taste in our mouths. I certainly don’t feel like the people in power in this country have the interest of the people at heart. Of course I have my vote but I find the lack of options extremely frustrating.

When I get frustrated with the bigger picture, instead of becoming immobilised what I can do is start at home. Look out for my own best interest at heart and this will filter out.

I don’t believe that caring for yourself can have a negative effect on others. In fact my experience tells me the opposite. When women, in particular, care for themselves they become more loving partners, mothers, sisters and when that happens we all win!

 

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